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Posted: August 8, 2014 in Uncategorized

It doesn’t take a narcissist to bring people pain and disruption, but here is a reason as to why some do what they do…BB

Grace for my Heart

It’s Narcissist Friday!  

Why do the narcissists abuse people?  Why do they do such things?  They hurt.  They use.  They manipulate.  They destroy.


Some have attributed their cruelty to hatred.  Some to anger.  Others to envy.  Perhaps they look at the rest of us and create ways to demolish what we or others have built into our lives.   Perhaps they do it for fun, excitement, maybe challenge.

Narcissists can cause a lot of pain.  I read the stories people send to me privately and those shared in the comments and I grieve for those who have had to endure so much.  Some of the stories are hard to believe, but I know narcissists and I do believe them.  And, again, why do they do these things?

I have written about this before, but it seems important to say it again: it isn’t your fault.  You are not an inferior…

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Why does God allow it?

Posted: August 1, 2014 in Uncategorized

I’m reading Scarred by struggle, transformed by hope. This goes along with it.

Grace for my Heart

It’s Narcissist Friday!  

If God is good and God is strong and God knows everything, why doesn’t He change the circumstances that hurt us so much? This question haunts many believers and non-believers. Some would say that they became unbelievers because of this question. If they were honest, some may say that they became unbelievers because of the answers they were given.

In our comments this past week this question has come up in the context of the painful narcissistic relationship. How can God allow some people to use and abuse and cause so much pain to others? How can God stand by while we lose so much? Why doesn’t God deal with the abusers?

What I have found over the years is that the pat answers, no matter how good they sound to the one who gives them, rarely give real help to those who are hurting. Here are…

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A Cry For Justice

Here’s the pattern I’ve lived and seen in others. We KNOW our husbands are doing some awful things. But we don’t want people to hate him or judge him. We want him to be loved and get pastoral care. We hope that a little talking to will wake him up and he will straighten up and fly right. There will be a tug of the Holy Spirit, a turning away from sin, and we can live happily ever after. No big confrontation. No big lawyer bill. No wagging tongues. No 911. Just a pastor tending his sheep and keeping us all safe. Because I was trying to be careful, I spoke victimese to my pastors at first.

Pastors, here’s an ACFJ translator for when a victim comes to you seeking help.

Concerned = Scared out of our minds
Grumpy = He’s a tyrant
Communication problems = Name calling and blaming…

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